About me (His Excellency, Dr Sultan of Scams)
My name is Dr. Mohamad Suliman (or as my victims call me, "Wait, where'd my company registration money go").
My prefered pronouns are "Dr" and "His Excellency." It's true. That is what I prefer to type into conference registration forms.
Still not convinced I'm important? I wasn't either, so I started showing up at conferences dressed like a Saudi prince! Now I'm next to people who actually matter. Boom. Instant credibility.
Exhibit A: Me being Dr Suliman the investor at the Caribbean Investment Forum. Pro tip: Wear a kandura, stand near the VIPs, and never make eye contact with security.
Exhibit B: Me on stage at an event. How? Simple. I walked up there like I owned the place. (Spoiler: I don’t own anything.) Read the article— notice how they don’t mention me? That’s because even journalists sense my grift energy.
Life hack: You don’t need a PhD to be called "Doctor." You just need audacity. I used to go by "Eng. Suliman" on my website for Dubai Smart Investor but nobody takes engineers seriously unless they’re building a rocket. So I upgraded to "Dr." and suddenly—magic—people return my emails.
Proof: My Dubai Smart Investor website. Left: Boring "Eng." Suliman on my website. Right: Glorious "Dr." Suliman on the new forms I fill in. The only thing that changed? My self-esteem when filling in online forms.
Want Me to "Invest" in Your Startup? (LOL)
Great news! I’m a very serious investor from Dubai, where money grows on palm trees and business plans are optional.
Here’s my foolproof investment strategy:
- Promise you $1,000,000 (terms and conditions: imaginary).
- Ask for a "small processing fee" (30,000 AED, non-refundable, obviously).
- Ghost you and use your money to buy a gold-plated stapler.
Disclaimer: I only invest in companies that can’t Google my name.
My "Investment Portfolio" (A.K.A. My Camera Roll)
You know what’s better than actual investments? Photos with people who have real ones.
My portfolio is 90% handshakes, 10% me nodding thoughtfully in the background. If you ask for proof of returns, I’ll act deeply offended and say, "Do you know who I am?" (Spoiler: You don’t. Neither do I.)
Dubai Smart Investor Source Of Funds
According to my backstory, I’m the son of a royal Saudi doctor. According to UK Companies House, I’m a Syrian guy who failed at running a London school. This school.
But let’s focus on the important part: I wear white robes now. That’s basically a financial credential in Dubai.
My current revenue model? The classic "pay me first and pray" scam. It’s like venture capital, but with more vanishing and less capital.
Need a "VIP" at Your Event? (I Work for Free Food)
Want to make your conference look legit? I’ll show up, dress like money, and excite people with big investment numbers.
